Compatibilities in Marriage

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When two people come together in a relationship, it is expected to set off sparks. Some couples are on fire, while others go up in flames even before it starts!

Comptability is an important issue, before considering to tie the knot. In traditioanl societies, people looked for social comptability (caste, religion, status etc – evident in matrimonial columns) and financial compatability (lifestyle, spending habits etc – evident from the fact that almost half of all divorces are due to financial woes). Of course, cultural and educational compatability are closely scrutanized in many communities.

But modern day young adults talk about emotional comptability (feeling, romance, intimacy etc – evident from a generation seeking deeper self gratifiction) and sexual comptability (sexperimentation – evident from one night stands and cohabitation). A comptability that is often overlooked by many young adults is spiritual comptability.

Marriage is a spiritual relationship and spiritual compatibility is an important factor in the list of comptabilities. It will influence the quality of your relationship more than any other factor. At the core of our being, we are spiritual beings and people differ in their spiritual makeup and priorities, even if they go to the same church or worship the same God.

A believing Christian should not enter into a marriage with an unbeliever because it will be a relationship built on opposing values and priorities. Building relationships on Biblical values, love and worldview is essential to Christian life, especially in the most intimate of all human relationships like that of marriage.

God created marriage, and its greatest fulfillment and enjoyment can only be found when both husband and wife have a growing relationship with God. Marriage is not just two people coming together, but is a relationship of three – God and a couple. As each person in the marriage grows closer to God, they grow closer to each other. The third person bring stability, growth and order in the relationship. 

When Christians marry nonbelievers, they usually experience a growing frustration after marriage. They have conflicting goals and expectations. They clash over the values they teach their children. They have differing circles of friends. They will have different set of holidays, rituals and beliefs that could be lead to perpetual conflicts.

If you and your future amte are on different wavelengths in spiritual matters, slow down and reevaluate your relationship. Spiritual incompatbility is bound to create lots of heartache in the future. If both of you are growing in Christ, you will experience a special joy and teamwork in your marriage, as both of you come under the lordship of Christ in building a God-honoring and mutually fulfilling relationship.

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