Since the passing of no-fault divorce in America (greater social acceptability of divorce and skyrocketing divorce trend is attributed to it), a whole generation who grew up in broken homes has now become adults. They are either not getting married, having suffered due to their parent’s breakup or are deciding to get married and working hard to make it last.
CNN reported a story on Adult children of divorce vowing to break the divorce cycle and working hard to build enduring marriages. Very inspiring stories of couples, inspite of the odds against them, firmly charting a course of relational health and well being. Check it out here.
Here are some observations: The risk of divorce is 50 percent higher when one spouse comes from a divorced home, and 200 percent higher risk when both of them do. Children of divorce are also 50 percent more likely to marry another child of divorce. A failed marriage in the family might actually propel a child of divorce to get maried, often times at an earlier age or cohabitate or other negative tendancies that can sabotage their future long term relationship. It could work other way too – divorce in a family can sometimes help children strengthen their own relationships with their future partner. Children of divorced parents are more likely to spot a troubled partner and avoid toxic relationships. These children are often more resilient and overcome obstacles quicker in relationships.
They know first hand the pain of broken relationship and are motivated to avoid them at all cost. They are drawn by the allure of temproary fixes that divorce provides. If these couples do not do anything different or being intentional about acquiring relational skills for enduring marriage, they will in few years end up where their parent’s were.
A good resource to dig further into this topic would be “Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages” by Nicholas Wolfinger, a professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah.